A Reddit user reached out to others for advice on whether it’s okay to ask her adult daughter to split the rent with her.
Reddit user “throwaway_dating224” posted on the Am I the A*****e (AITA) subreddit on Jan. 30, asking if she was at fault for wanting her 25-year-old daughter part of the house pays rent payment.
The user said her daughter moved into her home in 2019 while she was attending college.
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It is not clear from the mail whether the daughter had moved out and then moved back in; but the daughter has since graduated from college and found a paying job, but not enough to move out on her own.
“I asked her to split the cost of rent and utilities with me… and [she] doesn’t think it’s fair,” the user wrote.
The poster said her daughter didn’t want to live with her and had told her she was saving money for college or a down payment on a house.
The mother and daughter live in an area with a high cost of living, the Redditor said — but their rent is below average for the area.
“Why are you too tired to move your things but not too tired to cash your daughter’s checks?”
In addition, the mother said her daughter refuses to invite guests into the house because she is “embarrassed about the condition of the house” and has repeatedly asked her mother to get rid of items in the house to make room for more of her belongings.
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The mother claims she is often tired after work and finds it difficult to clean up after her when she gets home.
The Redditor finally wanted to know if it was okay to ask her daughter to split the rent 50/50.
An expert steps in
This scenario is an example of a classic power struggle between a child and a parent, California-based parenting expert Stef Tousignant told Fox News Digital.
As a parent, there are three ways to handle this situation, said Tousignant, a parenting expert for Parentdifferently.com.
“Use your power to coerce or coerce, give in and let your child dictate the entire outcome — or use love, empathy and patience to work with your child to resolve,” she also said.
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The daughter in this situation is aware of the consequences of her actions as well as the concept of personal boundaries, said Tousignant, who recommended a civilized conversation between mother and daughter.
“Why should she pay half when the house is filled with everyone [of] your things?”
“The mother needs to come to the table with compassion for her daughter but with boundaries for herself — and the daughter needs to come to the table with respect for her mother and responsibility for her actions,” the expert recommended.
Reddit users expressed mixed opinions on the hot topic.
“Why should she pay half when the house is filled with everyone [of] your stuff?” wrote one commenter, turning to the mother.
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Another user commented on the mom, “Why are you too tired to move your stuff but not too tired to cash your daughter’s checks?”
On the other hand, some users agree the daughter should step in and help with expenses — but maybe not on a 50-50 split.
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“Calculate your rent? Good, no problem,” replied one Reddit user.
“But if she hasn’t already… used up half the space in the house, then fix that before you charge her or adjust the rent.” [percentage] accordingly,” added the same user.